The RealVows Journal
Notes on marriage, method, and matchmaking done properly
How the matching actually works, what we ask of members and why, and the conversations worth having long before an engagement. Written by the people who build and run the service.
All articles
Compatibility
Preference fulfilment is 45% of the score, and never the whole answer
We weight what each of you actually asked for more heavily than any other platform, and we are equally clear about where it stops. A plain reading of the matching model.
James Holloway
2 min read
Relationships
Twelve questions worth asking before an engagement
Compatibility scores narrow the field. These are the conversations that decide it — drawn from what long-married couples say they wish they had settled early.
The RealVows Team
1 min read
Matchmaking
How to write a profile that attracts the right person
The goal of a good profile is not to appeal to everybody. It is to be unmistakable to the small number of people you would actually marry.
Eleanor Whitfield
2 min read
Matchmaking
Why we ask for four photographs, and what each one is for
Four specific shots, not four of your favourites. Each one answers a question the next person is going to ask anyway.
The RealVows Team
1 min read
Relationships
Bringing family into the process without losing your say
For many of our members a marriage involves two families from the first conversation. That can be a strength — with a few boundaries agreed in advance.
Eleanor Whitfield
1 min read
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