How to write a profile that attracts the right person

We ask for between 150 and 300 words about you. It is the longest single thing we ask for, and the part that most changes who you hear from. Members who rewrite a generic profile into a specific one see a marked change in the quality of the introductions they accept — not in how many they receive.

Be specific enough to be refused

"I love travelling, food and family" describes almost everyone. "I plan holidays around mountains and pack badly for all of them" describes one person. The second is riskier, and that is the entire point: it gives someone a reason to choose you and someone else a reason to pass, which saves you both a month.

Answer the three questions underneath

• What does family life look like to you in five years? Concrete detail beats sentiment.
• What makes someone a great lifelong partner — in your experience, not in the abstract?
• What do you bring to a marriage on a difficult week, not an easy one?

Write the way you speak

A profile is not a CV, and reading like one is the most common mistake we see. Job title, degree and salary band are already structured fields — we score them without you writing a paragraph about them. Use the words for what only you can say.

What to leave out

• Lists of what you do not want. Deal-breakers are a structured field, and they read as a warning in prose.
• Anything about a former partner.
• Height, income and body type — all captured elsewhere, all scored, none of it worth your words.

You can rewrite it at any point from your dashboard. Most members do, once, about a fortnight in — usually after the first introduction that felt nearly right.